Pages from the Intalekshall Memoirs of Captain Cute

Dear Diary,
Narnah did it again!
She knows my Royal bumbum is the cutest in the hole of creations but she photoed Flopsy DimDum instead!
Its outraging!!
Nuffs nuff, so I'm taking actions into my own 4 paws and writing my intalekshall memoirs here for posteriority! Its a good job I'm such a gifted communicaterer with a hot Degree in Scribbles, though you'd never know it cause of my 'septional modesty to a highest fault.
They don't call me Captain Cute for nuffin but Narnah regularly forgets it 'cause she's not intalekshall like me and Grumpy. I wish she'd listen to Grumpy - he knows I'm FAR superior to DimDum and Stinky even tho they were cut from the same cloff as me. Why isn't HE in charge of photoing??

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Dear Diary,

Today was a very sombersome day for us here in BritsLand 'cause we had a State Funeral for our greyshuss Queen LizzyBeff. ( It was a good state though, not a bad state! ) Having a semi-Royal bumbum myself I get quite 'motional when I sees all the pomp, ceremonies, uniforms 'n' stuffs.
Narnah watched it all on the big TV with plenty of sniffings and some wetness at the edges, so I stayed on the big-boy sofa with Grumpy. He was slouched to one side with his eyes shut so I 'spect he watched it using his ears instead.
RIP HRH
Yours Truly forever and evers,
Captain Cute xxx

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Dear Diary,

There's a new fur baby in the family! ... Loopy and Rascal rescued a stray kitten that was camping in their camellia!

She was very frightened with a wonky leg and a crooked tail, but after a week with the cat doctor she was allowed to go live with them. They named her Hope coz she really needed some.

Narnah and I drop by some days to give Hope extra noshings and cuddles. She rewards us with lots of loud face rumblings!

Sometimes her other end rumbles as well, followed by an almighty pong that makes Narnah's eyes leak!... Even I can smell it and I don't have a real nose!! These events remind Narnah that my bumbum is still the cutest in the hole galaxy!

Captain Cute xxx

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Dear Diary,
Our roof sprang a leak! My cute and precious bumbum was in mortal danger from drippings and droppings into my toy room!
Grumpy took big aventures up ladders with buckets of goo, and Narnah held the ladder while he carefully dropped stuff in her hair. I think it improved her looks 'mensley, but her expression ruined it!
You'd think she'd be more grapeful that not only Yours Truly, but also the less handsome toys were snatched from the very paws of doom and 'struction by Grumpys speedful roof mendings!

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